I don't usually vent on the blog. I save it for poor Noah, but poor, poor, poor Noah is not here right now. In fact he hasn't been here all week. He is away at scout camp where he conveniently doesn't have phone reception so my not venting to anyone has built up long enough! It really hasn't been that bad and I know if he thought I really felt this way he would come home but I feel like the more dramatic I tell it the more interesting it sounds! I feel like I am just now, after 2.5 years of it, finally being introduced to motherhood. While at our family reunion, Noah's mom gave me a copy of an article titled "Surrendering to Motherhood" and she must have seen it coming for me because sometimes I feel like I need to do just that; throw my arms up and surrender. I read it last week. If my life were a book I might think that, that was foreshadowing this week!
Since Lyla's birth everything has gone beautifully until Noah had to go back to work, my mom dad and sister had to go home, we had to come home from vacation, Noah left for scout camp, and I was left alone all week with our precious new born and our adorable 2 yr old. I had to face my responsibilities (I know that if my mom were to read this, this would be the part where she would say, "and you want how many kids Kristi?"). I must say that I am IN LOVE with Lyla and I am IN LOVE with McKay and I am IN LOVE with the sweet tender moments they both give me. So in love that I didn't think it was possible to feel this deeply for my kids. It's all the rubbish in between those moments that I need to learn to love and to surrender to.
Let me just share some highlights from my day today.
Wait what am I talking about. I'm actually going to save that for another day. I finally got the kids to bed and I am ready to hit the pillow myself!
16 comments:
Where can I get a copy of that article??
Boy Howdy, I can't wait for the next installment that details those terrible, horrible, no good very bad days!
You gotta love it...looking back...not in the present!
Good luck this week!
Love you, Linda
I want a copt of that article too. I have a hard time surrendering myself. I feel like I have an "I can't handle this" break-down at least once a month!!! I try to just focus on the good but it is easier to focus on the miserable I guess. Hang in there Kristi... I TOTALLY know what you are feeling!
It sounds like you are on the right track...I think we are all supposed to surrender at some point (or lots of points). You'll totally get it and then you'll look back and feel cool for getting past this point. It's hard but you will most definitely get the hang of it and be great!!
Kirst!! Man o man, I know how you feel. After I had Kenedi & everybody left, I was like wait a minute, how am I supposed to do this? It does get better I promise, although I still have breakdowns where I want to strangle either myself or the kids but they get fewer & farther in between :) I LOVE YOU!!
If anyone can get through the craziness of motherhood it's certainly you! Dave and I were just talking about you and Noah yesterday on the plane and how much we love you guys. You two are an amazing pair. I hope Noah gets back soon though, because I can feel your pain. Sure love you guys!
Oh I cant imagine, what two babies would be like! I know that you are a great mamma, just keep going! I still have those days and I only have one!
I would love to read it too. You guys are so great - Noah at scout camp and you alone with two little kids. We are so lucky to have you guys in our ward.
We should get together - surrendering is much easier to do with friends!!
xo
kristi - promise you'll call me when moments like this happen? especially at night - since i don't work overnight anymore (hooray) and can run down and help anytime! you_are_amazing. xoxo
You are AWESOME Kristi!!! I think everyone that has kids gets that reality check every once in a while!! Where can I find a copy of that article, I would love to read it!!!
I feel your scout camp pain Kristi. Believe me I feel it. And then there is youth conference and winter camp and father and sons camp, etc. Get a babysitter, kiss the kiddies and take a night off whenever you can.
I miss you guys! I'm sure you have such a sweet little family and I hope to see you guys again someday. It sounds like you are an amazing momma!
Call me if you ever need help. I'll babysit anytime. Seriously. :)
Oh my gosh, you're so cute! ok, I didn't mean to stalk you from Stacy's blog--but I had to say hi! I saw you at our ward today in VA with my mother-in-law, Terryl Speers! anyway, I just wanted to say hi! We'll have to let you know if we ever come up to NYC--it would be SO fun to get together!
It was so great to see you guys this past weekend. Thanks for calling us and arranging the get together. It had been too long. Hopefully we will be able to come up to NY sometime soon!
I want a copy! You are doing better than you give yourself credit! It does kick your bunz quite often (meaning motherhood and 'you' was pretty generalized!) You can call me too because heaven knows you get your ear full from me! I love you!
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